I don't want you to be mean, Rey. I want you to be who you are - but I want you to do it by my side. I'm not a nice man, though. I doubt I'd be very welcome on your side, even if you want me to be there.
you wuld! you would be with me and theu would want your help too.
anwywa, you're not as bad as you thinkg. yo'ure brave and compasionate and understanding. you saved my life. you've done bad things but you're not a monster. i was wrong. you were wrong. you have to stop believeing it! you'r eyour own worst emeny!
[Suddenly and inadvertently, Rey has rendered him completely and utterly speechless. And she hadn't even meant to! She was drunk, and probably wouldn't even remember this when she woke up.
But he'd never forget.]
They'd be more likely to try to kill me or toss me in some cell to rot.
Do you really believe what you're saying to me right now or is this the drink talking?
[There's no vitriol in the question, it isn't meant to mock. It is genuine and honest.]
You really believe that there is goodness left in me?
I think you might be the only being in the universe that thinks the same way of me. Sometimes I want to believe it, too. But mostly I think you're vastly overestimating who and what I am.
[It's almost too much to bear, hearing and feeling and knowing how much she cares for him.]
You would fight for me.
You're not wrong, Rey. I am a monster. I know I am. You say I've made mistakes, and … you're not wrong. But I've made my choices, too. I can't take them back now, nor can I take back my actions.
What's done is done.
[It hurts when Rey brings up his parents - but what was he expecting, really?]
Amazing how any of you can see any good in me after all that I've done. I killed my father. How anybody could forgive me after that … I'm afraid there is no coming back from it.
Too late. I stole the Falcon so if I go back now, I won’t be able to leave again. At least, not without telling them where I’m going. I’m about to jump to hyperspace, then I can rest for a while. I think it’s going to take me about twenty four hours to reach Jakku.
[Honestly, he's not entirely surprised that she's forged ahead, anyway. It's admirable, how she never lets anything get in the way of what she wants.
He doesn't have to answer to anyone, so there's no stopping him from readying himself for the trip, as well, inputting Jakku's coordinates into his (thankfully, encrypted) datapad to gauge just how long the trip is going to take from his end.]
Get that rest, Rey. You need it.
It will take me eighteen, so that gives me time to find your downed AT-AT.
I'm really rather fond of you as well, but I'm sure there's a long line of people just waiting for a chance to share a nude. I'm sure those same people are also wondering when I'll just keel over so they can have their chance.
I have faith in you. I'm just not pleased with your current situation. What makes you think that my hands aren't already busy?
Mm. I do like it when you leave marks behind, when you stake a claim.
Who could possibly want to see me in - you know what? Don't answer that. I don't think I want to know. But if I must, I must. I'll trust your judgment.
Induchron wasn't a pretty city, it wasn't like Maz's temple on Takodana or even Niima Outpost. It was short and squat, the city spread out around silo's and factories. All the homes looked the same -- everything looked the same, and it all varied along a neutral color scheme. It was the type of city that was made for the workers, and while it might not be luxurious, it would have enough to meet her needs.
She landed the borrowed X-Wing in a dock, the plates above sealing closed as she powered down. Rey was alone, as promised, with nothing more than the astrotech droid to accompany her on the short distance from the Cademimu sector here. It chirped at her as she paid the docking fee, and remained behind with the ship. It was not BB8 who wanted to explore, it didn't even ask her why she was here. Unlike Poe and Finn that had, and she'd assured them that she only needed to take a short trip and promising to explain once she got back. They tried to press, but eventually let her go when she didn't add any more details.
Stepping out onto the lightly paved street, she glanced left, then right, following the gentle urge of the Force to a building a few doorways down. Inside it was the same slate gray, with a woman behind the bar. The local watering hole.
"Need a room, lassie?" She called out as she continued to rub down the bar. It might have been brighter once, but now it was only a dull shade of blue.
"Yes, please, just for the night." She walked over, divesting herself of a few more credits. Not that she had many and she was probably going to be questioned even more thoroughly by Poe and Finn when she returned a day later, but at least they'd have somewhere to sleep if they ended up staying.
Making a little idle chit chat with the woman, Serna, she eventually got directions to the local market, scarce except for Saturdays, but she could probably find a few things if she wanted anything, or so said Serna. Tucking the key to her room into her belt, careful to keep Leia's lightsaber hidden under thick band, she headed back out and waited fror that tingle that said Ben was physically closer.
Ben might have promised to meet Rey as soon as possible, but before he set off on his journey, he did a modicum of research on Induchron and decided that he couldn't just show up in his usual attire. He would probably look out of place anyway, but the more inconspicuous he could appear, the better. So he changed into something more nondescript - trousers and tunic and boots, all dark (of course) but nothing that would set him too apart from the rest.
He didn't intend upon lingering, anyway. Rey was there. He was going to meet Rey. Nothing else mattered.
Good thing was, nobody would dare question him about his intentions. Even if they did, he wouldn't give up any details. This was nobody's business but their owns.
Instead of taking the Silencer, he opted for one of the regular shuttles, one that wouldn't raise any eyebrows if it was seen landing at any of the city's spaceports. Unfortunately, it also wouldn't get him there as quickly as he wanted, but for this, Ben could be patient.
But eventually, he reached the coordinates that Rey had sent, easily paying the docking fee and walking out into the crisp air of the city.
Thing was - he had no idea where Rey was located, and he didn't particularly want to search for her. This was no game, after all, and they were living on borrowed time.
You're such a greedy, good girl. I'll give you anything you want, Rey, you only ever have to ask.
I'll fuck you and promise to be with you always. I'll whisper in your ear how amazing you feel pulsing around my cock, how the taste of you never quenches my thirst, only makes me want to drink you all the more, how the wanting never stops.
I want you to come for me. But I want to see it and feel it, too. Please, let me in.
[They are a Dyad, and that means that they are one. It makes sense that part of having the bond is being able to share each other's thoughts and emotions, but Ben thinks it is a little deeper than that, too. He's wanted her for longer than he's known about their Force-given connection. He's probably loved her for that long, too.
He can feel the spike of excitement that reverberates through the bond as she touches herself - a little bit of a tease more than anything else. It only fans the flame of his desire higher.
He wonders if she can sense the way he aches and throbs for her, how much he craves the pleasure - and relief - of her touch.]
I think it would overwhelm you if I tried. I want you in every way a person can have another person. Just as I want you to have me in return.
I am yours.
Whatever you want from me, I will gladly give it to you.
[Here, a pause. But only because he needs a moment to catch his breath, which she's stolen with the force of her words.]
Are you positive you want everything I've got? I have fifteen years of endurance training from Jakku and scavenging. You're bigger and stronger, but I'm almost positive I can outlast you without pulling a muscle.
Last chance for that break you so desperately wanted.
I think you're underestimating me - my endurance and my determination. Not only that, but stubbornness as well, and I'm not interested in losing to the likes of you.
[Said like this woman isn't his entire life. He really is his father's son.]
I'm not going to let muscle cramps or soreness slow me down. I can hydrate right in the middle of our contest. I'm not going to stop until you tap out.
A little bit like a treat. Hopefully it does what it's supposed to and helps you get to sleep.
It happens. Stress and worry can impact sleep. I'm sure there are plenty of other causes as well. You could possibly ask the doctor who you could speak to, as well, and that might help.
Lots of people do. Some don't. But it is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I did, sometimes, but not often. Seeking pleasure was not something I was encouraged to pursue. But ... now that I can ... yes, I have. It sometimes calms my mind and relaxes my body in the aftermath. Makes it a little easier to slip into sleep then.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
winterfish
(findbalance)
Date: 2020-05-10 05:54 am (UTC)I don't want you to be mean, Rey. I want you to be who you are - but I want you to do it by my side. I'm not a nice man, though. I doubt I'd be very welcome on your side, even if you want me to be there.
[A moment later - ]
Don't cry. I don't want you to cry.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-10 10:59 am (UTC)anwywa, you're not as bad as you thinkg. yo'ure brave and compasionate and understanding. you saved my life. you've done bad things but you're not a monster. i was wrong. you were wrong. you have to stop believeing it! you'r eyour own worst emeny!
no subject
Date: 2020-05-12 09:52 pm (UTC)But he'd never forget.]
They'd be more likely to try to kill me or toss me in some cell to rot.
Do you really believe what you're saying to me right now or is this the drink talking?
[There's no vitriol in the question, it isn't meant to mock. It is genuine and honest.]
You really believe that there is goodness left in me?
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 03:55 pm (UTC)OF course i believe it Ben. i know theer is. i believe in you.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 07:34 pm (UTC)I think you might be the only being in the universe that thinks the same way of me. Sometimes I want to believe it, too. But mostly I think you're vastly overestimating who and what I am.
You called me a monster, once.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-17 08:03 pm (UTC)i really wouldnt.
I was wrong. i knew I was wrong almos as soon as i said it. you’re not a monster. You’re a man. You make mistaks. Its human.
do you know what else is humsn? to forgoev.
I’m not the oonly one, Ben. your mother believes in yiu and your father did too. we see your worth even if you dont. They want you back.
i want you.
no subject
Date: 2020-06-11 07:58 pm (UTC)You would fight for me.
You're not wrong, Rey. I am a monster. I know I am. You say I've made mistakes, and … you're not wrong. But I've made my choices, too. I can't take them back now, nor can I take back my actions.
What's done is done.
[It hurts when Rey brings up his parents - but what was he expecting, really?]
Amazing how any of you can see any good in me after all that I've done. I killed my father. How anybody could forgive me after that … I'm afraid there is no coming back from it.
…
You want me? I'd just bring you down with me.
Damn it all, I want you, too.
no subject
Date: 2020-10-08 10:33 pm (UTC)with me. I'll help you.
please come to me?
no subject
Date: 2020-10-28 09:05 am (UTC)Where are you?
no subject
Date: 2020-10-28 09:17 am (UTC)I only know Jakku. Will uou meet me on jakku? THeres a downed atAt in the goazon badlands. Find me there?
no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 05:10 pm (UTC)I can find you there. But I don't want you making a trip while you're in the state that you're in.
Sleep it off, then we'll meet.
When?
no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 05:45 pm (UTC)Too late. I stole the Falcon so if I go back now, I won’t be able to leave again. At least, not without telling them where I’m going. I’m about to jump to hyperspace, then I can rest for a while. I think it’s going to take me about twenty four hours to reach Jakku.
[A moment later]
Are... are you still coming? ---
no subject
Date: 2020-11-05 04:41 pm (UTC)He doesn't have to answer to anyone, so there's no stopping him from readying himself for the trip, as well, inputting Jakku's coordinates into his (thankfully, encrypted) datapad to gauge just how long the trip is going to take from his end.]
Get that rest, Rey. You need it.
It will take me eighteen, so that gives me time to find your downed AT-AT.
I am still coming. I am still coming to you.
no subject
Date: 2020-11-16 12:08 am (UTC)Ben [...] I’ll see you soon.
(bewithme)
Date: 2020-06-11 06:36 pm (UTC)I'm really rather fond of you as well, but I'm sure there's a long line of people just waiting for a chance to share a nude. I'm sure those same people are also wondering when I'll just keel over so they can have their chance.
I have faith in you. I'm just not pleased with your current situation. What makes you think that my hands aren't already busy?
Mm. I do like it when you leave marks behind, when you stake a claim.
no subject
Date: 2020-06-17 08:59 am (UTC)😳😳😳
It's really inconvenient that the scar is gone, if I'm being honest. Everyone knew who you belonged to then.
no subject
Date: 2020-06-25 09:34 pm (UTC)I'm imagining that it's you, that you're whispering every dirty little thought in your mind against my ear.
Everybody knows who I belong to now. But if you want to leave more marks, please feel free. Stake your claim.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-10 08:05 am (UTC)That's a tall order. I have a lot of dirty thoughts about you, I'll have you know.
Don't encourage me.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-26 04:46 pm (UTC)I want to hear them all. And believe me, I will find a way to make the time in which to allow you to share.
What if I want to encourage you?
no subject
Date: 2020-07-27 08:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-18 10:41 pm (UTC)But please, feel free to do your worst. I'm not scared.
no subject
Date: 2020-08-19 01:43 am (UTC)I'll have to try harder then.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-22 08:11 am (UTC)I dare you.
no subject
Date: 2020-09-22 08:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-10-28 08:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-10-30 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-03 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-11-19 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-09-29 05:24 pm (UTC)Induchron wasn't a pretty city, it wasn't like Maz's temple on Takodana or even Niima Outpost. It was short and squat, the city spread out around silo's and factories. All the homes looked the same -- everything looked the same, and it all varied along a neutral color scheme. It was the type of city that was made for the workers, and while it might not be luxurious, it would have enough to meet her needs.
She landed the borrowed X-Wing in a dock, the plates above sealing closed as she powered down. Rey was alone, as promised, with nothing more than the astrotech droid to accompany her on the short distance from the Cademimu sector here. It chirped at her as she paid the docking fee, and remained behind with the ship. It was not BB8 who wanted to explore, it didn't even ask her why she was here. Unlike Poe and Finn that had, and she'd assured them that she only needed to take a short trip and promising to explain once she got back. They tried to press, but eventually let her go when she didn't add any more details.
Stepping out onto the lightly paved street, she glanced left, then right, following the gentle urge of the Force to a building a few doorways down. Inside it was the same slate gray, with a woman behind the bar. The local watering hole.
"Need a room, lassie?" She called out as she continued to rub down the bar. It might have been brighter once, but now it was only a dull shade of blue.
"Yes, please, just for the night." She walked over, divesting herself of a few more credits. Not that she had many and she was probably going to be questioned even more thoroughly by Poe and Finn when she returned a day later, but at least they'd have somewhere to sleep if they ended up staying.
Making a little idle chit chat with the woman, Serna, she eventually got directions to the local market, scarce except for Saturdays, but she could probably find a few things if she wanted anything, or so said Serna. Tucking the key to her room into her belt, careful to keep Leia's lightsaber hidden under thick band, she headed back out and waited fror that tingle that said Ben was physically closer.
no subject
Date: 2021-03-02 10:50 pm (UTC)He didn't intend upon lingering, anyway. Rey was there. He was going to meet Rey. Nothing else mattered.
Good thing was, nobody would dare question him about his intentions. Even if they did, he wouldn't give up any details. This was nobody's business but their owns.
Instead of taking the Silencer, he opted for one of the regular shuttles, one that wouldn't raise any eyebrows if it was seen landing at any of the city's spaceports. Unfortunately, it also wouldn't get him there as quickly as he wanted, but for this, Ben could be patient.
But eventually, he reached the coordinates that Rey had sent, easily paying the docking fee and walking out into the crisp air of the city.
Thing was - he had no idea where Rey was located, and he didn't particularly want to search for her. This was no game, after all, and they were living on borrowed time.
Through the bond, a nudge.
Where are you?
(findbalance)
Date: 2021-09-05 08:39 pm (UTC)So good for you. Only you.
What else do you want from me, my filthy little princess? Tell me, and I'll give you whatever your heart desires.
Re: (findbalance)
Date: 2021-09-05 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-09-05 08:50 pm (UTC)I will never leave you, Rey.
[- he means it.]
no subject
Date: 2021-09-05 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-09-05 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-09-05 09:02 pm (UTC)the thought of you saying those words while you fuck me...
kriff, i could cum right now just imagining it
no subject
Date: 2021-09-06 06:39 am (UTC)I'll fuck you and promise to be with you always. I'll whisper in your ear how amazing you feel pulsing around my cock, how the taste of you never quenches my thirst, only makes me want to drink you all the more, how the wanting never stops.
I want you to come for me. But I want to see it and feel it, too. Please, let me in.
(force_sensitive)
Date: 2021-09-20 09:03 pm (UTC)[They are a Dyad, and that means that they are one. It makes sense that part of having the bond is being able to share each other's thoughts and emotions, but Ben thinks it is a little deeper than that, too. He's wanted her for longer than he's known about their Force-given connection. He's probably loved her for that long, too.
He can feel the spike of excitement that reverberates through the bond as she touches herself - a little bit of a tease more than anything else. It only fans the flame of his desire higher.
He wonders if she can sense the way he aches and throbs for her, how much he craves the pleasure - and relief - of her touch.]
I think it would overwhelm you if I tried. I want you in every way a person can have another person. Just as I want you to have me in return.
I am yours.
Whatever you want from me, I will gladly give it to you.
[Here, a pause. But only because he needs a moment to catch his breath, which she's stolen with the force of her words.]
Show me what you want.
no subject
Date: 2021-10-03 05:06 am (UTC)Are you positive you want everything I've got? I have fifteen years of endurance training from Jakku and scavenging. You're bigger and stronger, but I'm almost positive I can outlast you without pulling a muscle.
Last chance for that break you so desperately wanted.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-09 10:31 pm (UTC)[Said like this woman isn't his entire life. He really is his father's son.]
I'm not going to let muscle cramps or soreness slow me down. I can hydrate right in the middle of our contest. I'm not going to stop until you tap out.
Think you can handle that?
(force_sensitive)
Date: 2021-10-03 10:57 pm (UTC)A little bit like a treat. Hopefully it does what it's supposed to and helps you get to sleep.
It happens. Stress and worry can impact sleep. I'm sure there are plenty of other causes as well. You could possibly ask the doctor who you could speak to, as well, and that might help.
Lots of people do. Some don't. But it is perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
I did, sometimes, but not often. Seeking pleasure was not something I was encouraged to pursue. But ... now that I can ... yes, I have. It sometimes calms my mind and relaxes my body in the aftermath. Makes it a little easier to slip into sleep then.